Acceptance, Experience and Achievement

As business professionals, our days are filled with a constant stream of communication with contacts old and new. In an ideal world, once we float a query or comment or idea in the direction of one of these folks, the recipient should respond immediately, right? And in this day of instant messaging and ubiquitous phone access, that often happens. Ah! Life can seem so easy in those moments. But can you remember a time when you sent an e-mail or left a voicemail and waited forever for a response? Surprise! Life suddenly is not so sweet.

That very thing happened to me last week. I picked up the phone, then paused. I had already left this person two messages but he never called back. My lower mind set at first covered up with this thought: "Maybe he never received the messages I left. Maybe he is on vacation." Then the crash and burn: "I'm sure he received my call; he just isn't calling back. Why doesn't he like me enough to return my call? What could I have said that would have made him want to return my call?" Then a slight lifting back toward sensibility: "Why do I care so much?"

I took a deep breath and plunked the receiver back in the cradle with the thought, "This call will be returned at the exact right time and not a second before." Proud of my insight, I relaxed into my chair, then hit the send/receive button on my email certain that SOMEONE wanted to at least E-speak to me. Again I was thwarted. I expected to hear from three people I'd sent very warm, sincere messages to the previous day. My monkey mind began to find new fuel and motivation for Woe-Is-Me. So I pulled the plug on the phone, punched the off button on the computer, and took a long walk in my favorite park where I had plenty of time to reflect on the question at hand: "Why do we get so bent out of shape when someone doesn't respond to our contact?"

As human beings, part of our nature is to attempt to control our situations, relationships, and surroundings - and predicting (even demanding) certain outcomes is a particular specialty of the human condition. For me, I predicted the voicemail message I left would be returned by a certain time. When it wasn't, I became anxious and thought something was wrong - wrong with me. Sound familiar? The million dollar question is how to operate in the business world while loosening the reins of control, letting go of expectations, and accepting reality.

This month, take a look at how much energy you're spending on trying to force specific outcomes on whatever you're attempting to control. To help you in this pursuit, I'd like to recommend William Guillory's book, Spirituality in the Workplace. He offers a three-step approach to letting go and acquiring wisdom:

1. The acceptance of reality - the willingness to move beyond denial, anger, bargaining, and guilt to acceptance of a situation as it is.
2. The experience of humility - the complete reduction of the ego's agenda for revenge when you experience unfairness.
3. The achievement of inner peace - the adoption of a neutral, nonjudgmental attitude towards events and others in your life.

Someday soon, someone in your business world will respond differently than expected. Practice these three steps to release your expectations, gain acceptance of the process at work, and find peace.