May 2005 Monday Morning Minute

In This Issue:
---- Part 1 – Monday Morning Minute
---- Part 2 – MMM Hits 1000 Subscribers (With Your Help)

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Teaching People To Treat You (115 Seconds)

Is there an Energy Vampire in your workplace?  They may be client or co-worker or even a customer who subtly makes flippant remarks and often wants you to feel their pain.

You know the person I’m talking about.

You attempt to listen thoroughly, and politely, even graciously smiling as they vomit their displeasure all over you.  You continue to take the high road and make positive gestures; however they pessimistically devalue your intentions and leave you feeling drained, exhausted, and even resentful.

What might help in these types situations is to stop listening and start speaking up about your boundaries.  Many of us were taught that if we set boundaries and say, “no” to people that we are rude and disrespectful.  The truth is we disrespect and devalue ourselves when we don’t speak up. 

With a little practice you can find that balance of being respectful without disrespecting yourself.  Imagine what would happen if you said something to the effect of “Hey that sounds really tough, have you given any thought as to what you are going to do about that?” or "Wow, it sounds like there is a lot going on.  I am currently in the middle of something, would you like to set up some time to talk about this later?"

For years, when an energy vampire approached me, I would smile and listen while thinking, “when are they going to stop talking?”  Finally, I realized I never shared with them that I didn’t have time or how much their negativity was impacting me. 

As I began to become more authentic, I found that I could choose to empower others rather than enable them simply by setting my own boundaries and staying in my heart.

This week as the energy vampire begins to lay into their daily dose of victim hood, I invite you to see where you can speak up, set your boundaries, and teach them how to treat you.

Wishing you a Happy Monday,

Jason